Money can buy almost everything—houses, cars, yachts, jewelry. But there’s one thing it can’t buy, and that’s taste.  Taste is like herpes, either you’ve got it or you don’t. 

Look at Mariah Carey!  She’s worth a billion dollars and she wears dresses made out of plastic. They’re so tight, you can see her fallopian tubes. Or what about Jennifer Lopez, or J-Lo as she’s known. How about J-Low class? Her hoop earrings are so big Paris Hilton could use them as diaphragms.

I’ve met a lot of rich people in my life and I can spot nouveau riche a mile away. Here are some clues so you can tell if your rich, new neighbors are new or nouveau:

- They have a statue of David in the driveway that’s made of Formica…and he’s circumcised.

- The place is decorated in Ikea Provincial.

- Their favorite wine comes in a box.

- Their Mercedes has a gunrack.

- And finally, if they’re reading this with you, they have no idea we’re talking about them.

My new show, “How’d You Get So Rich?” premieres Wednesday, August 5^th at 10:00pm on TV Land Prime, and I can’t wait!!

During each episode I’ll take you inside the mega-mansions of everyday Americans who started out with nothing except great ideas in their heads and determination in their hearts, and turned it all into a bloody fortune! 

Get ready to see how the creator of Billy-Bob novelty teeth, the inventor of the Slanket, the “Father of the Infomercial,” and the Mardi Gras King of New Orleans (among many, many others) have made and spent their millions.  These rich men and women bring the meaning of extravagance to a whole new level!!

So tune in every Wednesday at 10:00pm to TV Land Prime, and you too will be asking, “How’d You Get So Rich?”

Do you want to be on television with me? I’m shooting infomercials in early August for my Great Hair Day, Right to Bare Legs and Absolutely Magic Foot Cream products in New Jersey, and I want real people to talk to me ON TV about my products. So, if you live in the area, and use any of those products, I want to hear from you!

I'm looking for enthusiastic people who love my products to appear with me in my infomercials. I want the ugly truth from you. Send me your worst “before” photos so I can see how fantastic you look after using Great Hair Day, Right to Bare Legs or Absolutely Magic Foot cream.

Click beautydiscoveries@scripttoscreen.com and send an email including the following information:
 
Full name
Age

City and State where you live
Phone number(s)
Email address
Which product you love?
Why we should choose you to be in my infomercial?
Photos of you before using my products

My dear friend Cary Fetman, who is also my stylist, gave me a Sony electronic Reader for my birthday.  I took this sleek, marvelous device away with me for the Fourth of July weekend, thinking I would read some great literature by the pool. If someone is reading this blog on your Reader, please tell me: How do I turn the page?!

I've been stuck on Gone With The Wind for a week now and I’m dying to know who won the Civil War!

I can't believe this country turns 233 years old this Fourth of July. It doesn’t look a day over 175!!

I’m thrilled, thrilled, thrilled that I’m spending the holiday weekend with my daughter, Melissa, and my grandson, Cooper. We’ve got a lot of American traditions that we’re going to take part in, including a fabulous fireworks display.

Another grand, all-American tradition is the picnic! Cooper told me that he wanted a real Fourth of July picnic this year, complete with lots of great food. So, I’m spreading out a blanket on the floor of our local deli.

Happy Fourth, everyone! Have a safe and wonderful holiday!!!!