The Celebrity Apprentice is back featuring me and my daughter Melissa as two of the 16 contestants vying for that coveted title, along with the chance to win $250,000 for the charity closest to our hearts! I’ll be playing for God’s Love We Deliver. Click here to learn more about this wonderful organization.

But I warn you my darlings, the claws come out and it gets ruthless during this season's challenges and in Mr. Trump's boardroom! We work grueling hours without sleep, clash over business strategies and personality traits, and lack the support of our managers and assistants. 

Do I, an entrepreneur, a comedian and a grandmother have what it takes? In the end, 15 of us will hear the dreaded words, “You’re fired!” Only one of us can win. Who will it be?

Click here to watch a short preview and learn more about the show.

None of our politicians can agree on whether we are in a depression or still in a recession. All I know is, I’m broke!

You know that times are tough when the newspaper costs more than the stocks you’re looking up.

Actually, the economy is so bad, 7-11’s have been reduced to 6-10’s.

The other day, when I was in driving in Los Angeles, I saw Cher on the side of the freeway with a sign that read, “Will work for Botox.” 

Dutch Boy paints are really feeling the pinch since Paris Hilton had to cut back on her makeup expenses.

So, as a result of all this, I’m buying stock in Smith & Wesson. Guns are the only things people are buying over the counter these days.

I just spent two days filming for the second season of ZRock, my show on IFC. For those who don’t know, it’s a cross between Entourage, Curb Your Enthusiasm and Flight of the Conchords (with a splash of Spinal Tap thrown in for good measure).

The show chronicles an aspiring rock band that makes its living playing children’s parties. The first episode of the season takes place at my grandson Cooper’s birthday party. Melissa flew in for the shoot as well. 

On the set, I’m surrounded by all these little actors—try spending two days in a room with a bunch of seven-year-olds who are hopped up on M&Ms and birthday cake. It makes me GLAD my childbearing years are over.

I know this sounds politically incorrect, but I am totally in favor of a good whack on the ass for a child who doesn't listen to his mother, his father or his director. There is one particular son of a gun on the set who I turned to and said, “If you don’t learn to behave , I’ will personally track you down in kindergarten, break your Crayolas, put glue in your clay, and give the tooth fairy your incorrect address, which will be really upsetting to you when I knock out all of your teeth!"

Otherwise, I’m having a great time.