I was sent a book called Woof: A Gay Man’s Guide to Dogs by Andrew DePrisco and there is a funny section where the author compares what a gay man would name his dog to what a straight man would. Here are some of the funniest ones, plus I threw in a few of my own.

A straight guy would call a big dog Tank or Sarge, while a gay man would call him Norma.

A straight guy might call his Bloodhound Sherlock, while a gay man would name him Sniffy.

A straight man would call his Pekinese Ping Pong and a gay guy would call his Miss Cho Cho Bunny.

A straight man would call his German Shepherd Heinrich and a gay guy would call his Marlene or Jewbait.

A gay man would call his Poodle something chic like Hermes and a straight man…wait, straight men don’t own Poodles.