I just realized you comment on our blogs. You're awesome! You sweet bitch, when do you sleep? I made the comment "Bitch, is this fat free milk?" (3/23). I'll live my comedy life throuh you. I'll need to set my sights a little higher...does Phyllis Diller have a "blog"? Ha! You're truly the best!

Dear Bradley- You'll live your comedy life through me...that's just sad.  By the way, Phyllis Diller does have a blog and you can find it at www.godswaitingroom.com --xxx Joan

Lily Tomlin vs The director? Clearly the winner is Lily! F*%k! You Mother F*%$#@r!

As Edith Ann said, "And that's the truth...thwaaap." --xxx Joan

I was practically strip searched over having condoms in my pants pocket at the San Diego airport!I kept beeping while going through security. The guard waved his wand on my pocket it went nuts! I pulled out the condoms and he gave me such a look!

Perhaps you should try the latex kind instead of the steel kind.  It will get you through security faster and your partner will thank you. -- xxx Joan

Who is making off at the airport security with our perfume and lotions and monistat 7? Someone is making a boatload of money off our stuff?

The Goodwill is suddenly being publicly traded on the New York, London and Tokyo Stock Exchanges thanks to my half-drunk bottles of Poland Spring. --xxx Joan

Speaking of fights...Did you and Bridgette Nielsen make nicey nice? What about you and Burt Reynolds? You and oh nevermind I could go on forever.

Make nice!?! I'm like an elephant in more than just dress size...I NEVER FORGET! --xxx Joan